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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26535628">One Perfect Person</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist'>terma_archivist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The X-Files</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Language, M/M, M/M Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2002-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2002-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:16:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,690</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26535628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before Krycek is reinstated into the FBI he is bunks with Mulder.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Krycek/Fox Mulder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>TER/MA</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>One Perfect Person</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at <a href="https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA">TER/MA</a> and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile">the TER/MA collection profile</a>.<br/>I owe many thanks to Kest for her invaluable comments. This would have been a Krycek monologue if she hadn't taken the time and trouble to help me discover Mulder's voice. If there are no coincidences in life I am delighted that fate connected me with her.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <a id="top" name="top"></a> <br/><a href="#notes">Go to notes and disclaimers</a><br/><b>One Perfect Person<br/>by LeFey</b></p>
<p><br/> Mulder fumbled with the key in the lock.  The impatient, frequent sighs behind him weren't helping his concentration.  The lock mechanism on his apartment door was always sticking.  Scully had complained a million times.
</p>
<p>Now, with Alex Krycek standing behind him it was an embarrassment, not just an annoyance, but then the lock was the least of his worries.  </p>
<p> He had been shocked beyond action when Krycek showed up at Starbucks.  A voicemail had told him to meet Scully there.  The bastard had surreptitiously stuck a gun in Mulder's ribs and assaulted him with a shit-eating grin till they reached the dark land-yacht of a car waiting at the curb.</p>
<p> Then it became surreal.  The Well-Manicured Man had greeted him in that genial but coldly aristocratic way, as Krycek pushed Mulder into the car.  </p>
<p> As the car sped away "The Gentleman", as Mulder always called him in his mind, smiled and shrugged at the obvious question that spilled from Mulder the moment he was settled. 
"All life is illusion, Mr. Mulder," he'd responded by way of explanation for his apparent death.</p>
<p> It had taken some persuasion, as they sat in the car at the end of a deserted pier, before Mulder agreed to do what was being asked of him.</p>
<p> Now, fighting with the key, he still couldn't believe he was going to be Alex Krycek's contact as he was reinstated into the FBI. The Gentleman had somehow arranged for Krycek to be exonerated of all charges and placed as a Special Agent in Mulder's section.</p>
<p> Mulder finally clicked the lock open and Krycek shouldered past.  The act sent an immediate jolt of adrenaline through Mulder. They hadn't been together for more than an hour and he already wanted to tear him apart. </p>
<p>   The leather-jacketed man strode into the darkened room. Silhouetted by the muted glow of the streetlight outside the window.  There was a cocky defiance in his stance.</p>
<p> Mulder still hesitated on the threshold, trying to get control of himself.  This didn't seem real.  With the lights out Krycek was just a dark phantom image.  If he flipped the switch the man would turn, the smirking grin would flash, and Mulder's waking nightmare would begin.</p>
<p> "How about some light?" Krycek cracked off, his tone sharp and demanding.  "I don't want to stumble into some mess you left behind from your considerable appetite for adult entertainment."  The sneer was apparent even without being able to see his face. </p>
<p> "If you slip on anything it will be your own slime," Mulder popped back.</p>
<p>  "Cute Mulder, but I don't know my way around your apartment that well.  I've only been here twice.  Once to put you to beddy, remember?"  He punctuated his words with a knowing chuckle.  "Bless Skinner's pointed, bald head for giving me all the crap assignments.  The only other time was when I gave you your orders from the consortium.  An equally...."</p>
<p> His words ceased as the ceiling light blazed on.</p>
<p> Krycek blinked, looked around the room then turned.</p>
<p> "Christ, Mulder. You make more money than this!"  He made a sweeping gesture with his right arm that took in the room.  "What a hole!  I'm not staying here long."</p>
<p> "You've slept in worse places," Mulder said closing the door behind him.  He tossed his coat, with an angry jerk, over the arm of the couch as he walked towards the window behind the desk.  He grabbed the old wooden frame with both hands in an attempt to open it and start some air moving in the stuffy apartment.  The maddening presence of Alex Krycek had suddenly sucked the oxygen from the room.</p>
<p> "Like the rock you crawled out from under," Mulder sniped as he struggled with the sticky window.  His anger with the man was only multiplied by his frustration with the totally immobile object.  Without warning the window flew up, almost catching his fingers in the process.</p>
<p> "Fuck," he said under his breath.  He looked at his fingers, unscathed but tingling. A wave of anger and heat washed over him as he steadied himself for a moment before he stepped back.</p>
<p> "Where I've had to live wasn't out of choice," Krycek stated in an irritating, superior tone. "Now, you on the other hand..."</p>
<p> Mulder was on Krycek in a few steps, rage exploding in him.  He knotted his fists in Krycek's T-shirt and jerked him forward.  Their noses bumped as Mulder screamed into his face.</p>
<p> "<i>You</i> have no choice, you piece of shit!  I'm the one saddled with bringing you back into the bureau."  He shook Krycek in rhythm to his words.  "So, you do what I say. And I say shut the fuck up.  It's <i>my</i> life you've ruined."</p>
<p> Krycek's right arm came up in a swift, fluid motion that Mulder barely saw.  His open hand delivered a short, devastating blow to Mulder's chest.  The force propelled Mulder back to collide with the wall, a good three feet away. <br/>  <br/> Pain radiated through his torso as he gasped for air. Mulder dropped to his knees as the agony from the impact to his back met with the tightness in his chest.  He felt the cold chill of the metal before it touched his skin.</p>
<p> Krycek's smiling face looked down at Mulder from behind the automatic pistol.  His faceted green eyes glittered with malicious amusement.</p>
<p> "The time when you can beat on me is over, buddy.  I've learned some things that are apparently very effective."</p>
<p> He put the muzzle of the gun under Mulder's chin and used it to keep him looking up.<br/>
<br/> "Am I wrong?" he prompted.  "Or is it just that you can't breathe yet?"  He took the gun away and nodded at Mulder to rise.</p>
<p> Mulder stood slowly, his hand massaging his chest as his breathing gradually returned to normal.</p>
<p> "So, I ruined <i>your</i> life."  Krycek gave a harsh laugh. "That's a good one, Mulder.  You always were a funny bastard, but when it comes to ruining peoples' lives I think you're the king.  You were my second big assignment. And due to your paranoid, self-absorbed, ugly personality, and your world view that you are the focal point, I blew it.  As a result I lost the white collar job I deserved and was demoted to hired muscle."  He glanced away as a wave of anger colored his cheeks. </p>
<p> "You just reached your true level of incompetence." Mulder fixed him with a smarmy smile that he hoped spiked the same sort of anger Krycek could always elicit from him. </p>
<p> Krycek waited a beat but then continued, his gaze fixed on Mulder with even more intensity.</p>
<p> "You have no idea what it's like to try and work with a bunch of brain dead thugs who can barely grasp the concept of keeping their knuckles from dragging when they walk." He shook his head as if trying to rid himself of the memory.<br/> "But that didn't last long.  My employer tried to terminate me, permanently." <br/>
<br/> "You bring out the killer instinct in people."</p>
<p> Krycek frowned and motioned Mulder towards the kitchen. </p>
<p> "Go sit down," he instructed as he put the gun back in the holster at the small of his back.</p>
<p> Mulder wouldn't admit it, but he was grateful for the invitation.  The blow had taken a toll on him.  He made his way to one of the old wooden chairs by the kitchen table.</p>
<p> Krycek followed him into the kitchen and was opening cupboards as he talked.</p>
<p> "You already know about Hong Kong."  He turned and smiled a sweet, false smile.  "And thanks for the broken nose, by the way.  Then, I was mentally raped by an alien who left me just enough awareness to be terrified by what it was doing."</p>
<p> He turned suddenly and propped himself against the kitchen counter.</p>
<p> "Let's skip past all the other crap and get straight to the arm.  We both know that ultimately you are responsible for this."  He raised the prosthetic arm and light gleamed off its hard, artificial surface.  "So, let me summarize. Your inconvenience at being chosen by my handler to mainstream me back into the system weighed against my loss of career, safety, self-worth and being a whole man.  What do you think Mulder?"  He arched an eyebrow at him.  "You think I got you beat, just a little, on the ruined life thing?"</p>
<p> He turned back to rummage through the cupboards.<br/> "You got anything to eat in here, Mulder?"</p>
<p> Krycek moved to the refrigerator, opened it and did a quick inventory.</p>
<p> "Three cans of beer and a couple pieces of petrified take-out chicken."  He shook his head in disbelief.  "You live like a fucking frat boy."</p>
<p> "What am I," Mulder asked, anger rouging his face, "your salvation or your punishment?  Or is it the other way around?"</p>
<p> Krycek shut the refrigerator door.</p>
<p> "I don't really know.  The old man took me under his wing so I try to do what he wants.  Despite that, if you pull any more shit on me, I'll just kill you and tell him it didn't work out.  He'll be disappointed but not surprised."  </p>
<p> "How surprised will he be," Mulder asked with barely controlled rage, "if I kill you first?"</p>
<p> Krycek walked over to Mulder and stood for a moment looming over him.</p>
<p> "Dream on buddy-boy. The point is you're just the facilitator. I'm the one who's important, now."</p>
<p> He walked into the livingroom leaving Mulder fuming and wondering just how stupid had it been to say yes to this idea.</p>
<p> Krycek took the phone receiver from the cradle and turned to Mulder.</p>
<p> "You like Le Provincial, or have you ever been there?"</p>
<p> "I'm not going out," Mulder snapped.</p>
<p> Krycek lowered the phone with an exasperated toss of his head.</p>
<p> "God, you are such a piss-ant, Mulder!  I'm ordering take-out."</p>
<p> "You can't get take-out from a four star restaurant."</p>
<p> Krycek beamed with another infuriating smile.  He cocked his head in a questioning gesture.</p>
<p> "Mulder, when are you going to learn?  I can do anything."</p>
<hr/>
<p> Krycek ordered the meal in fluent French.  The easy familiarity in his tone conveyed that he was a well-known customer.</p>
<p> The food arrived in record time.  Krycek tipped lavishly despite the fact that he told the delivery boy to inform the owner he would not accept another domestic Chardonnay, no matter how good it was supposed to be.</p>
<p> They ate in silence after Krycek made a few pithy remarks about Mulder's miss-matched dishes and cutlery.</p>
<p> It wasn't until they were drinking Courvoisier cognac, from juice glasses that had started life as small jelly containers, that the strain between them broke.</p>
<p> "What's your real agenda, Krycek?"</p>
<p> "I don't know."  He looked off towards the high set kitchen window mulling over the question.  "I want new clothes but I think I should look at cars first.  And definitely find somewhere else to live."</p>
<p> "I'm not asking about your fucking shopping plans.  Why are you being brought back into the bureau?  Working within the system is a little vague for someone like you."</p>
<p> Krycek smiled.  "Yeah.  Sometimes the old man forgets I'm not some hippie he's going to turn into a lobbyist."</p>
<p> "What's the truth, then?"  Mulder prompted when Krycek didn't offer.</p>
<p> "Truth, huh?"  Krycek took another sip of Cognac. "Still into those absolutes after all you've seen?"</p>
<p> "Are you going to tell me anything?  Because I'm fed-up with all your bull-shit."</p>
<p> "Oh!"  Kyrcek laughed out the word.  "Always the charmer.  I'm surprised you haven't talked our buddy Spender into giving himself up with sweet words like that."</p>
<p> "Why are you being brought back into the FBI?" Mulder beat out the words with an insistent rhythm.</p>
<p> "God, if it will shut you up!"  He took the bottle and poured himself another drink.  "I'm a recruiter.  It's really a very simple plan.  I designate people and resources to be brought in as resistance to colonization now and as our life-line later."</p>
<p> "Why should I believe you?"</p>
<p> Krycek tipped his glass at Mulder.  "That's a very good question, and one that I can't answer for you.  But I think you know.  I think you know a lot of things you're not willing to admit."</p>
<p> "I didn't know about your arm," Mulder said quietly. There was an unexplainable need in him to let the other man know he understood the level of his loss, and rid himself of any shadow of responsibility.</p>
<p> "And you call yourself an FBI agent."  Krycek laughed, his cheeks were flushed from the drink.  "They didn't try that with you?"  His eyes narrowed as he studied Mulder.</p>
<p> "Yes."</p>
<p> "You didn't put two and two together?  And the fossils thought you were a threat."</p>
<p> "I thought you were dead," Mulder blurted, not certain whether he meant the words to hurt Krycek or serve as his own defense.</p>
<p> Krycek raised his glass, swirled the amber liquid and enjoyed the sharp bouquet before he took another sip.</p>
<p> "You're just damn lucky I'm not," he said arrogantly as he put his glass down.</p>
<p> Mulder wanted to strike out at him, again.  But it was true he was lucky.  Krycek had the answers to all his questions.  Mulder wasn't going to let the anger pumping through his body get in the way of his finding out those answers.</p>
<p> "There are things I want to know," Mulder stated, the alcohol making him bold.  "Things I deserve to know."</p>
<p> Krycek shook his head.  "Are we going through this again?  Despite what you think when you look in the mirror, Mulder, the universe does not revolve around you."</p>
<p> "I want to know about my sister.  What do you know about Samantha?"</p>
<p> Krycek poured more brandy into his glass and topped off Mulder's as well.</p>
<p> "I'm bored, Mulder.  So, I'll tell you what I know. I've got nothing to lose anymore.  But I don't know that much about your sister."</p>
<p> "Is she alive?"  He took a drink so he wouldn't have to meet the smirk that Krycek might display.</p>
<p> "As far as I know.  I was never involved in those projects.  I heard, about a year ago, that the original..." He met Mulder's gaze with an apologetic nod of his head. "That's what they call test subjects like her.  Anyway, I heard she was alive.  But she may have been at the pickup site when the rebels suckered everybody."</p>
<p> "I see they didn't sucker you."</p>
<p> "I try to stay a step ahead."</p>
<p> "And save your own ass."</p>
<p> Krycek raised his glass and gave a minimal salute.</p>
<p> "If that's the way you want to see it, Mulder. I don't think I can change your mind about me." He took a sip. "And I really don't give a shit <i>what</i> you think of me."</p>
<p> "What about Scully's sister?"</p>
<p> Krycek gave him a puzzled look.</p>
<p> "Did you kill her?"</p>
<p> "Haven't you seen the forensics, the angle of entry? It was someone much shorter than me and ..."</p>
<p> "Reports can be tampered with."</p>
<p> "What do you want, the gruesome details, you freak?"</p>
<p> Mulder slammed his hand on the table startling both of them.</p>
<p> "Your <i>old man</i>," his tone was sharp and sarcastic, "contacted me before she was murdered and told me two men were sent to kill Scully.  I figure you just shot the wrong sister."  Anger heated his face as laughter was Krycek's only response.</p>
<p> "You think this is funny?" he threatened.</p>
<p> "Well, ironic at the least. The old bastard set us up." Krycek drummed the table in delight.  "I was still in the consortium stable and I knew there was a rift starting. The old man contacted you in order to stop us, because we were part of the faction he was fighting.  Cool."</p>
<p> "So, you admit you were sent to kill Scully."</p>
<p> Krycek shot him a disgusted glance.  "God, Mulder you're so easy. You believe everything you're told?  The shooting was an accident.  We were never sent to kill anyone.  We were after the tape.  Apparently, so was the old man."</p>
<p> "She's still <i>dead</i>, Krycek," Mulder bellowed.</p>
<p> "Cardinale <i>panicked</i>, Mulder!"  Krycek screamed back with equal force.  After a small stare-down, Mulder settled back in his chair, still fuming.</p>
<p> "We were sent to find the DAT tape," Krycek continued. "We didn't know at that point that Skinner had it.  Scully was the most likely candidate.  If we snagged the tape there wouldn't be any hard evidence in the wrong hands. No exposure.  That was what they were always afraid of. The old man knew that, too.  We were just doing a little search and seizure when the door opened."</p>
<p> He studied his glass for a moment and didn't look up when he spoke.</p>
<p> "Cardinale was unstable at best."  He looked up at Mulder.  "I told you it was like working with a bunch of macho retards.  He heard someone come in and before I could reach him, he'd shot her.  It was never meant to happen."</p>
<p> He drained his glass, wincing at the biting heat of the brandy. "Of course that doesn't make everything all better."  Krycek gave a weak smile and refilled his glass.</p>
<p> "Does that ever cross your mind, Krycek?  Do you ever think about the pain you've caused everyone?"</p>
<p> Krycek flashed a bitter smile in response.</p>
<p> "Sometimes I don't think about anything else.  Anymore questions or can I go to bed?"</p>
<p> "Why did you side with the old man?"</p>
<p> "I didn't," he said softly.  "He decided not to kill me when he just as easily could have."</p>
<p> "Why?"</p>
<p> "I don't know." A rarely seen wistful openness softened his features. "He only has daughters.  They're terrific, strong women and unfortunately all married," he joked. "But he's old school so maybe I'm the son he never had." He locked Mulder in a sudden feral gaze.  "Or maybe I'm just the weapon he always wanted."  </p>
<p>   The reality of who was sitting across the table came home to Mulder with a thud.  His heart began to race as he looked into the other man's glittering green eyes.  Krycek had always been someone's weapon despite the brief glimpses of humanity Mulder had witnessed tonight.  Locked in Krycek's gaze, seeing his amusement at Mulder's uneasiness, there was no doubt in his mind that this "man" was more inhuman than the aliens they both fought.</p>
<p> Mulder rose, no longer able to face his enemy, his informant and regrettably his future.  He walked into the livingroom.  Krycek followed in a moment.</p>
<p> "You can sleep on the couch."  It already had two bed pillows and a blanket piled at one end, as Mulder rarely made it into the bedroom.</p>
<p> Krycek stood for a moment studying the couch as Mulder neared the bedroom door.</p>
<p> "Am I going to sit in anything here?" he asked with mocking disgust.  "I've seen the surveillance tapes.  I know what you do on this couch."</p>
<p> "Go to hell, Krycek," Mulder seethed, and walked into the bedroom.</p>
<p> "Mulder," Krycek called after him.  "Look around.  I'm already there."</p>
<hr/>
<p> The thud woke him.  Mulder shook his head trying to come awake.  He wasn't sure whether he'd heard the noise or felt it.  Maybe he'd just dreamt it.  Sleep had been difficult to come by with Alex Krycek lounging on his couch in the other room.  No one pissed him off like Krycek. Mulder had tossed and turned for a good two hours before the adrenaline that fired him with anger had slowly seeped from his blood stream and allowed him to sleep.  The dreams that followed were disturbing, with vague, fleeting images that he couldn't fully remember when he awoke but left him troubled.</p>
<p> There was a scrabbling noise and a choked moan from the livingroom.</p>
<p> That God damned Krycek was jerking off on his couch!</p>
<p> Mulder was wide-awake now and well on his way to furious.</p>
<p> "Fucking rat-bastard," he mumbled as he pushed himself out of bed and grabbed the sweats that he'd tossed on the floor.</p>
<p> "Kry..." The rest of the name was swallowed as he entered the livingroom and froze.</p>
<p> Alex Krycek lolled on the floor.  His head was thrust back; sweat gleamed on his face.  He clawed at the hardwood floor as he tried to drag himself forward with his one hand.  He wasn't wearing the prosthetic arm.  He was clad only in white T-shirt and white briefs.  His bare legs were entangled in the blanket from the couch as he attempted to move.</p>
<p> Mulder covered the space between them in a few quick steps.  He tried to gather Krycek into his arms but the man fought him. Mulder backed off a little but kept a hand on him as he struggled.  </p>
<p> "Krycek, what is it?  What do you need."  It was obvious he was trying to reach something.  Mulder hoped he could cut through the haze in time to keep him from hurting himself.</p>
<p> Alex continued to thrash and pull himself across the floor, writhing and fighting his way along the smooth surface.</p>
<p> Mulder grabbed his shoulders in an attempt to bring him out of it. </p>
<p> "Alex!  Alex, what is it?  Alex, what's wrong?"</p>
<p> His head jerked in Mulder's direction.  His green eyes were still unfocused but the use of his first name had made an inroad into his panic.</p>
<p> "Pills," he croaked out the word, his throat tight and dry. </p>
<p> Mulder's gaze followed where his arm was leading.  His prosthetic lay on a chair across the room, the ubiquitous leather jacket draped on the back of the chair.</p>
<p> "Inside pocket... jacket."  Each word seemed an inhuman effort.  "Pills..." was all he could manage before he lost focus and started to scramble towards the chair again.</p>
<p> Mulder stood and swiftly moved to snag the jacket.  He felt for the telltale shape of a pill bottle as he brought the leather coat to Krycek.</p>
<p> Krycek touched the garment as soon as it was near enough and fumbled about trying to open a small zipper in the lining under the arm.</p>
<p> Mulder brushed his hand aside and drew it open. He extricated a small vellum envelope and felt the hard form of pill capsules inside.</p>
<p> As soon as it was out Krycek grabbed for it, spilling the contents on the floor.</p>
<p> Mulder scooped up a handful of pills as they rolled across the bare wood surface.</p>
<p> "How many?"</p>
<p> Kyrcek pawed at him trying to take the pills away.</p>
<p> Mulder closed his hand before the ones he'd retrieved were knocked away as well.</p>
<p> "How many?" he tried again.  "How many do you need to take?  Alex!" he yelled, finally grabbing his attention. "How many pills do you need?"</p>
<p> "One," the word came out thick tongued and hoarse.</p>
<p> "I'll get some water."  Mulder started to rise but Alex clutched at the front of his sweatshirt.</p>
<p> "One," he repeated, his voice edged with desperation.</p>
<p> Mulder wedged a pill in his mouth and through some act of pure will Krycek was able to swallow it.  Then, he began to shake. </p>
<p> Mulder put the remaining pills in the pocket of his sweatpants.  He picked up Krycek under his whole arm and pulled him back towards the couch.  It took some doing to actually get him up onto the sofa.  Krycek was trembling too much to help.  The younger man was much heavier and solid than Mulder remembered.  He didn't fight Mulder but the effects of whatever was plaguing him made it as difficult to move him as a dead weight.</p>
<p> Finally, Mulder grabbed him by the waist and heaved him into a sitting position on the couch.  He hurriedly wedged the two bed pillows next to Krycek, so he wouldn't fall over, and stood up.</p>
<p> "I'm going to get some water."  He rushed into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the counter. He rinsed it quickly and brought a full glass of water back to Krycek.</p>
<p> Krycek sat shivering, a ragged ugh escaping his lips every few seconds, the occasional cry doubled him over.  </p>
<p> Mulder sat on the wooden coffeetable in front of him and pushed Krycek's forehead back.  He pressed the glass to his lips.  The water dribbled down Alex's chin as Mulder tipped the glass.  After a moment Krycek gulped in a mouthful, tried for another and coughed.</p>
<p> Mulder pulled the glass away and snatched the blanket from the floor next to him.  He wiped at Krycek's mouth and chest as he continued to cough.  After Krycek settled Mulder tucked the blanket around him despite the fact he could feel heat radiate from the other man's body.</p>
<p> Krycek's eyes were dilated and unfocused as he shook and moaned on the couch.</p>
<p> Mulder tried to remember what he'd learned in pre-med classes about seizures.  But the more he thought about it, the more this looked like withdrawal. </p>
<p> "Alex," he tried the name again.  It had been successful at pulling Krycek back before.</p>
<p> "Alex!" After the insistent second try Krycek's head snapped up to look at him.</p>
<p> "Alex, it's me, Mulder."</p>
<p> "Fox," he said faintly, as if it were a name he remembered from another life.</p>
<p> Mulder swallowed at the sound of his rarely spoken first name coming from this man's lips.</p>
<p> "That's right Alex. It's me, Fox."  He saw the flutter of long lashes as Krycek slowly came back.</p>
<p> "Tell me about your first big assignment," Mulder encouraged in hopes that getting him to talk would bring him back completely.</p>
<p> Krycek shook violently and grabbed at his stomach as he doubled over.<br/>     Mulder took him by the shoulders, forcing Krycek to look at him.</p>
<p> "Alex!  Alex!"  He called until Krycek could focus and a shred of attention returned to his dark eyes. </p>
<p> Mulder released him and settled back on the coffeetable.</p>
<p> "Tell me about your first big assignment."</p>
<p> "What?"  The voice was puzzled but the tone was growing a little steadier.</p>
<p> "You told me I was your second big assignment.  Who was your first?"</p>
<p> "First," Krycek repeated the word as if he was trying to think of what it must mean to him.  His breathing was labored but the jerking gasps that had rocked him were becoming fewer.</p>
<p> "Yes, remember, earlier when we first came back.  You told me I was your second big assignment.  When you..." Mulder hesitated and then repeated the words Krycek had used. "When I blew it for you and they tried to terminate you, permanently."</p>
<p> Krycek licked his lips.  His hand came up to his throat.  <br/>     "Water?"</p>
<p> Mulder picked up the glass from beside him and held it to Krycek's mouth.  He was able to take a few sips without choking.  His fingers rested gingerly on Mulder's and telegraphed the continuous shaking that rattled him.</p>
<p> Mulder put the glass back beside him. Krycek was rocking again, his eyes looking vacantly off into space.</p>
<p> "Alex," he coaxed and rested his open hand on the man's bare knee trying to gain his attention.  After a few seconds it appeared that Krycek actually looked at him. "Alex, who was your first big assignment?"</p>
<p> "O'Brien."  He gasped, then wrapped his arm around his stomach.</p>
<p> "O'Brien?  Who is that?" Mulder encouraged.</p>
<p> "O'Brien," Krycek repeated. "Jennifer O'Brien," he added in a rush.  His shoulders bucked forward from the effort but he continued in a halting monotone.  "District Bureau chief.  I was her intern."  For the first time a spark of being present flashed in his eyes.  He looked directly at Mulder.  "You know who she is."</p>
<p> Mulder startled at the intensity in his gaze.  He tried not to react but his voice wavered slightly as he answered.</p>
<p> "I know her.  She's friends with my ex-wife."</p>
<p> Krycek laughed and it sent him into another spasm of pain.  This time when he recovered he was still lucid.  He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smirked at Mulder.</p>
<p> "That explains a lot," he said.  His voice was still husky but the words were less hesitant now.  "She hates your guts."</p>
<p> Mulder conceded with a shrug.</p>
<p> "You were her intern," Mulder continued.  "What were you supposed to do to her?"</p>
<p> Krycek leaned his head back and laughed softly.  When his gaze met Mulder's again there was the unmistakable look of '<i>what do you think</i>,' on his face.</p>
<p> "Seduce her," he said the words in a voice smoky with sexuality.</p>
<p> "Is that what you were supposed to do to me?" Mulder regretted the question the moment it was out.</p>
<p> Krycek looked away from him.  "It was an option."  He coughed again as more pain shuddered through him.</p>
<p> Mulder offered the water without being asked.</p>
<p> After another sip Krycek pushed the glass away.  He looked at Mulder from under thick lashes, the corners of his mouth curling into a wicked grin.</p>
<p> "I ruled out seducing you early on.  I told them I could never compete with your good right hand."</p>
<p> Another wave of pain wiped the smile from Krycek's face before Mulder could respond with a comeback about the other man's own limited choices.</p>
<p> "Alex, stay with me."  Mulder gripped his knee.  "You were O'Brien's intern.  What happened?"</p>
<p> Krycek raised his hand and spanned his forehead.  His fingers pressed into his temples.  It was a moment before he could continue.  The words came slowly this time.</p>
<p> "That cancer man bastard Spender wanted her on a leash. She could be an obstacle.  But if he blackmailed her, he had a District Bureau Chief in his pocket."  Another wave of pain shook him and he trembled as he finished. "Besides, I think the creep wanted the photos.  He has a Jones for her." He gave Mulder a knowing smile.  "I do, too."  He watched Mulder for a reaction.  "Come on, she might be your ex's friend but you have to admit she's hot.  Smart, pretty, kind.." his voice trailed off.</p>
<p> Mulder squeezed his knee again.  The trembling increased and Krycek seemed to drift to some other place.</p>
<p> "Jennifer is something," Mulder agreed trying to bring him back. "So, what happened?  Is she working for Spender?"</p>
<p> "What?"  Confusion clouded Krycek's face.</p>
<p> "What happened with Jennifer?"</p>
<p> "I liked her." The bravado was gone from his voice a pained loss replacing it.  "She was so good to me.  She treated me like an equal.  She liked my work."  He looked at Mulder, his face eager, like a child sharing a secret. "She taught me how to walk into a room.  You know, being a woman in the Bureau she was at a disadvantage.  That was part of Spender's plan, what he hoped to use against her. But before we'd go into a meeting we'd take a moment outside the door.  And I swear," he raised his hand a little. "She grew three inches as she straightened into The District Bureau Chief."</p>
<p> "She can be pretty impressive," Mulder agreed, remembering a few of his own run-ins with her.</p>
<p> Krycek relaxed back onto the couch.  A pleased smile moving his lips.  "I've even seen her make Skinner look at his shoes."</p>
<p> "Did you seduce her?"  Mulder needed to keep Krycek talking.  He really didn't want to hear that Jennifer O'Brien was part of the conspiracy, no matter how coerced her involvement was.  She was one of the few constants in his life.  She hated him because she had probably heard every stupid selfish thing his ex-wife ever imagined he had done.  But she was always honest.  "Krycek, what happened?" he pressed when the other man did not continue. "When did you seduce Jennifer?"</p>
<p> Krycek took a deep breath.  The shaking was minimal now and only his hand showed the effects.  He looked up at Mulder.  His jaw was tight, lips pursed against his memories.</p>
<p> "I wanted to seduce her.  She was...is fine.  It was a turn-on for me that this important woman thought I was special.  And there was the pressure to complete my assignment. To show Spender and those other old bastards that I could do the job."  He paused and reached out his hand. "Can I have the water?"</p>
<p> Mulder gave him the glass and took it back after he drained it.</p>
<p> "We were working late one night on a report, alone, in her office."  Krycek smiled suddenly and looked away.  "She always liked my reports.  She said I was brilliant at distilling information."  He pursed his lips to erase the smile and raised his chin as if chastising himself for the sentiment.  "Anyway, I had my jacket off, and so did she because we were going through all these old files to compile the information.  And she was standing on this three-step foot stool reaching for a book on the top shelf."  His hand rose, mimicking the scene that replayed in his mind.</p>
<p> "I thought, this is it.  There's no one around to interrupt us, or to make her think twice about it.  She's all stretched out reaching for a book.  She was on tiptoes on those long, gorgeous legs and I could see the pattern of the lace teddy she wore under her white silk blouse.  I was more than ready to go through with the plan." </p>
<p> His gaze had drifted off again as if he could see what he was saying in the distance.  But Mulder didn't interrupt him.  His breathing was regular and his voice, while still halting as he told the story, had regained that familiar defensive yet arrogant edginess.</p>
<p> "I walked over to where she was and asked if she could reach the book. She stretched a little further and said she thought so."  His fingers curled slightly.  "I reached up and raked my fingers down her sides, you know, half-tickling, half-caressing. I felt her respond.  There was that moment of hesitation, an inhaled breath that wasn't just from surprise, before she turned.  She was off the step stool in a second.  She pushed past me.  When I turned around she was holding my jacket out to me."</p>
<p> Krycek swallowed and his eyes drifted to the empty glass on the coffeetable.</p>
<p> "You want more?" Mulder, asked.</p>
<p> He shook his head no and swallowed again.  He continued without any prompting.</p>
<p> "She held the jacket out to me.  I walked over to her and stood too close."  He lowered his head and smiled, then looked up at Mulder through long, dark lashes.  "That was something I'd learned from her, too.  I knew I had her. All I had to do was take one more step.  Just pull her into a kiss.  She was mine and the assignment was consummated. I had succeeded in so many ways."  The smile faded from his lips.  "But then she looked up at me and I could see the conflict in her.  She wanted to do the professional thing, you know, and make me leave.  But I could see how much she wanted me to stay."</p>
<p> He paused again, repeating the same gesture with his chin of muted self-anger.</p>
<p> "She held out my jacket and said, '<i>Go home, Alex</i>.' When I wouldn't take the jacket she pushed it at me. '<i>Go home Alex before I have to dismiss you.</i>'  I never expected that.  I took my jacket." His hand rose and curled into a fist.  "I tried to explain, maybe talk my way out of this. But she cut me off.  <i>'Come in tomorrow and we'll forget this ever happened.'</i>"  Alex lowered his hand to his lap.</p>
<p> "Then I knew nothing was ever going to happen.  Not because of her, but because I couldn't hurt her.  I couldn't take her down because she was trying to protect me."  He laughed self-consciously and looked up at Mulder. "No one had ever done that for me.  She was trying to protect her flirtatious, brilliant report writing, young intern who had just made a really stupid mistake."</p>
<p> Alex lowered his head and studied his fingers as he rubbed his thumb across the tips.  "There was no doubt in my mind that I could press the situation, make it happen. And there was just no way I could do that to her."</p>
<p> "It never happened?" Mulder asked quietly.</p>
<p> "No."  Alex turned his head and glanced at the window. The pale light from the street chased away the shadows. His face was awash in a soft, pearl glow.  His features took on a new strength as he raised his chin.</p>
<p> For just one off-kilter moment Mulder had the feeling he was looking at the inspiration for every heroic classical statue ever carved.    </p>
<p>  "I just continued my internship till it was over.  I told Spender he'd been wrong when he thought I was her type.  But, all those consortium fossils were wrong about the whole assignment.  They couldn't possibly have imagined how she would react.  Because none of them had integrity. Not like Jennifer."</p>
<p> Mulder was silent as he tried to put his mind around what had just happened.  Alex Krycek: liar, assassin, moral defective had turned noble before his very eyes.</p>
<p> "Why did you do it, Krycek?"  The words tumbled out before he could stop them.</p>
<p> Alex turned and gave him a puzzled look.  "I told you, because she protected me."</p>
<p> "No.  Why did you kill my father." Mulder hated himself for asking, for leaving himself so vulnerable.  But there was something in Krycek's face tonight that told him he might learn the truth.</p>
<p> Alex shook his head and a disappointed smile barely moved his lips.  </p>
<p> "I wondered when we'd get around to this."</p>
<p> "You owe me this much."</p>
<p> Krycek gave a harsh laugh and rolled his shoulder at him, displaying the stump of his arm.</p>
<p> "I don't owe you anything. I paid my pound of flesh in Tunguska.  Even if I told you the reason you wouldn't understand."</p>
<p> "Try me," Mulder stated, defiantly.</p>
<p> "The old man told me once that he thought we were two halves of the same person."  Alex pushed his sweat-dampened hair off his forehead.  "I said that if it were true we'd have to stand back to back because we never saw anything the same."</p>
<p> "Stop talking in riddles, Krycek."  Mulder's voice rose as he insisted, "Give me the truth."</p>
<p> Krycek leveled an icy stare at him.  "I've never done anything that I didn't think was right.  You understand that?"  He gave a derisive laugh.  "I didn't think so."</p>
<p> "Tell me why." Mulder grabbed at Krycek's T-shirt.</p>
<p> "He was a danger to the project," Alex said, his voice still the same controlled, cold tone despite Mulder's hands on him.  "I believed the project was preeminent.  I believed it was our only hope.  Not just the small <i>our</i> like you and me, but the whole human race.  They told me he had to be eliminated and I believed them.  I believed what I was doing was the right thing for humanity."</p>
<p> Mulder could no longer look at him and lowered his head.  Krycek was right, he couldn't understand it.  He wanted the answer to be simple, to be black in a black and white world.  He wanted Krycek to scream <i>I'm evil, I'm debased and far less than human</i>.  Instead, he only proved that his honor wasn't just a trick of the light.</p>
<p> Mulder shivered as he felt the long fingers thread through his hair.</p>
<p> "I'm sorry, Fox."  Krycek's cheek rested against his bowed head.  "I thought it was right.  I couldn't see that it was usel..."  He stopped before the word escaped completely.  "I'm sorry.  I couldn't see beyond what I thought was right."</p>
<p> Mulder raised his head and swiped at his nose as he pulled away from Krycek.</p>
<p> "I don't think we stand back to back.  It's more like we're a twisted Picasso painting.  We're both the face and each other's profile at the same time."</p>
<p> "That's why the old man sent me to you.  We're the only hope either of us has.  And we're both the world's only chance."  Alex coughed again the trembling returning to his hand.  He sank back against the couch.</p>
<p> Mulder reached for him, one hand grasping his shoulder as the other cradled his side.</p>
<p> "What is this, Alex?  What's wrong with you."</p>
<p> Krycek laughed and it turned into another tremor.</p>
<p> "This is just a little souvenir from my close encounter.  When the alien took me over, in Hong Kong, I had a pretty good drug habit going and wasn't exactly practicing safe sex."  He laughed again but this time it only left him slightly winded.  "Actually, I was practicing insane sex but those stories are best left for when your VCR breaks down."</p>
<p> "Alex, focus," Mulder snapped.</p>
<p> "Christ, Mulder you're a pissy grade school teacher at heart.  If I don't tell you, will you give me detention?"</p>
<p> Mulder closed his eyes and grimaced with frustration.</p>
<p> "Krycek, just tell me."</p>
<p> Alex gave a disgruntled sigh but continued.  </p>
<p> "When the thing took me over it couldn't use a body that was addicted and diseased.  It cleaned me up, so to speak.  As far as the old man's doctor's can tell it made new neural pathways in the process and," he looked off towards the window as he raised his chin, "sometimes I misfire."</p>
<p> "Is that what the pills prevent?"</p>
<p> "Yes, but I was told that I might be able to get by without them."  He looked at Mulder, his eyes dark.  "There will come a time I'll have to.  I've been trying to wean myself off the things.  I just went too long this time."</p>
<p> "How long was it?"</p>
<p> Krycek gave a harsh laugh.  "Four days, a new personal best."  He held out his hand and it still trembled slightly.  "This will all be gone in a couple minutes, then I'll be good for a few more days."</p>
<p> Mulder reached for him and he shrank from the touch.</p>
<p> "I want you to sleep in my bed." He offered his hand again.</p>
<p> Krycek laughed, a fatigued, uncontrolled near giggle.</p>
<p> "Gosh, Mulder," he said with mock sincerity.  "I thought I'd hear those words under different circumstances."</p>
<p> Mulder hooked him under the arm and hauled him to his feet. </p>
<p> "Annoying, God damn prick," he said the words under his breath but loudly enough he was certain to be heard.</p>
<p> He started to move Krycek towards the bedroom but the man shook him off.</p>
<p> "I don't want your fucking pity, Mulder," he snarled, all traces of humor gone.</p>
<p> He started toward the room on his own and Mulder followed.  After only a few steps he faltered and Mulder grabbed him as he swayed.  </p>
<p> Mulder pulled Krycek against his chest to steady him and wrapped his arms around him.  There was a moment of struggle, whether he was fighting the embrace or just fighting for balance wasn't clear.</p>
<p> Krycek gulped in a deep breath and stilled.</p>
<p> "I don't want your pity," he whispered the words this time.</p>
<p> "It's not pity, you stubborn shit." </p>
<p> Mulder grasped the back of his head, tangling his fingers in the silky hair.  He pulled Krycek's head towards his shoulder.  There was some hesitation but the man relaxed against Mulder after a moment.  His own hand cradled the small of Mulder's back.<br/>  <br/> "Tell me when you're ready," Mulder said as he absently caressed the back of Alex's head.</p>
<p> "If they could see us now, huh Mulder?" Krycek laughed softly but didn't move himself from the embrace.<br/>  <br/> Mulder felt the heat before the hardness accidentally nudged him.  He couldn't stop his startled reaction in time and knew Krycek registered it. The man's hand fell away from his back.  He raised his head and took a step away, but Mulder kept him in his grasp.</p>
<p> Krycek sniffed and looked towards the bedroom.</p>
<p> "I'm fine."</p>
<p> Mulder stood dumb struck for a moment.  Krycek shifted uneasily, not breaking from him but his uneasiness was apparent.  Light from the window painted his face into exquisite sculptured planes.  Since they first met, even in the heat of killer rage, Mulder had always been brought up short by the sheer beauty in his face.  He had experienced his own moments of heat when Krycek was near.  It had usually transformed into a blinding fury.  Now, it was a strange craving for renewed contact with Alex's body.</p>
<p> Mulder tightened his grip on Krycek's hair and turned his head so he had to look at him.</p>
<p> "What do you want, Alex?" he asked softly.</p>
<p> "I don't want your pity," he mumbled the words, not believing them but saying them as if it were expected of him.</p>
<p> Mulder tipped Krycek's head back as he tried to lower it.  He brought his own face close enough to feel the other man's breath.</p>
<p> "What do you <i>want</i>, Alex." His tone rose with insistence and he gave Krycek's head a tiny jerk.</p>
<p> Krycek laughed nervously and glanced away.</p>
<p> "If I told you, Mulder, you'd kill me."</p>
<p> "Then why don't I <i>show</i> you?"</p>
<p> Mulder leaned towards him, but Krycek's hand came up between them to stop him.</p>
<p> "You don't want to do this." He tried to turn his face away but his head was caught in Mulder's grasp.</p>
<p> "You're not as smart as you think, Alex.  This is the one thing I've always wanted to do."</p>
<p> Mulder pulled Krycek's head towards him till their lips met.  Resistance melted as his tongue probed the heat of the other man's mouth.  It only took a few moments of exploration before Krycek's hand snaked up Mulder's chest and strong fingers wrapped around his neck.  They stayed in the security of their mutual grasp as their kisses became more fevered and they moved against one another in a sensual dance.</p>
<p> They broke off and gasped against each other's cheeks.</p>
<p> "Bed," Mulder whispered urgently and the hand that held Krycek's head moved to secure his waist.  He didn't give the other man a chance to protest, but hurried him into the bedroom.  He turned back the sheets and pushed him gently down onto the bed.  Mulder turned to pull off his sweats.</p>
<p> When he looked back at Krycek he was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the floor.</p>
<p> "Alex," he said as he caressed his shoulders.</p>
<p> Krycek looked up at him, his large eyes were troubled and he pursed his lips before he spoke.</p>
<p> "I can't do this," he said finally.  "Not if you're going to have regrets."</p>
<p>  "We'll worry about that later."</p>
<p> Krycek's hand came up and grasped Mulder's wrist in a nearly painful grip.</p>
<p> "There isn't going to be enough time, later, for us to undo this."</p>
<p> "The old man told you about this."  Mulder tried to reassure him.  "Not in so many words but he knew this would happen.  He knew it <i>had</i> to happen.  When you kissed me I was whole, for really the first time.  We <i>are</i> two halves of the same person.  There isn't going to be any regret."</p>
<p> Krycek's finger's loosened on Mulder's wrist.</p>
<p> "I want to believe."</p>
<p> Mulder laughed softly and threaded his fingers through Krycek's.</p>
<p> Alex's gave him a resentful frown.</p>
<p> "You don't remember?  You said that to me once before. 
<i>'I want to believe, Mulder. I just need somewhere to start.'</i>" He took the hand he held and placed it against his own chest.  "Start here."</p>
<p> Alex squeezed his eyes shut.  Mulder didn't give him a chance to respond but pushed himself backward and they tumbled onto the bed.</p>
<p> "I dream about you," Alex whispered between kisses. </p>
<p> The words jolted through Mulder as the images of his own troubled dreams became clear.  Visions of the two of them lost in each other's bodies had left him panting and heated when he awoke.  But the other in these dreams, the one who was not really other but so much a part of himself, was never identified until this moment.  </p>
<p> He pulled at Krycek's briefs, freeing his dusky cock. Alex pushed against him the underwear was tossed aside. Mulder reached for the hem of the T-shirt but was stopped by an iron grip and one cold, firmly spoken word.</p>
<p> "No!"</p>
<p> "I want to see you.  You're so fucking sexy.  I want to see all of you."  Mulder tried to tug his hand free but it was no use.</p>
<p> "Just drop it, Mulder."</p>
<p> Mulder leaned forward, his hand still in Krycek's grip. His mouth found the other man's nipple through the cotton of his T-shirt. He sucked and nipped at the hardened nub. His kisses trailed off towards Krycek's shoulder and he felt the tremor of protest.  He pulled back and propped himself on one hand, face to face with him.</p>
<p> "I'm not afraid of it Alex.  So, you shouldn't be either.  We don't have any secrets now."  He kissed him softly on the mouth.  </p>
<p> Alex was totally overwhelmed, lost in emotions that were attractive and repellant at the same time.  </p>
<p> "Believe, Alex.  Just let yourself believe," Mulder cooed as if trying to coax a frightened animal near enough to touch.</p>
<p> Krycek didn't say anything. He turned his face away and let his arm fall beside him.</p>
<p> Mulder slowly pulled the T-shirt up.  His mouth followed his hand leaving kisses over the warm taut skin of Krycek's belly.  Mulder smiled when he twitched and moaned under him as Mulder's tongue explored his navel.  A wicked impulse flickered through him to see how long he could lick and nip at the sensitive skin before Krycek made him stop. But he shelved the idea.  There would be plenty of time to tease this beautiful body when Alex felt more secure.  He continued to pull up the cotton fabric and anoint the skin revealed with his mouth.</p>
<p> He deliberately took the shirt off the good arm first, then over Alex's head. Mulder planted a probing kiss while he tossed the T-shirt to the floor.</p>
<p> It wasn't long before Krycek's passive discomfort gave way to passion.  He tangled his legs with Mulder, prying them apart.  His hand traced and teased down Mulder's body drawing shivers and groans from the other man.</p>
<p> Their bodies seemed made for one another, proportioned and paced to melt together.  Each man's creativity matched the other's as they found and tantalized sensitive, secret spots.  Neither of them hurried, relishing the slow erotic torment they administered and received.</p>
<p> "Fox," Alex finally moaned.  "Have you got anything we can use for lube?"</p>
<p> "Yeah,"  Mulder said reluctantly, not wanting this to end but knowing he couldn't last much longer either.</p>
<p> He went into the bathroom and quickly returned with a plastic bottle of lanolin hand cream and a package of condoms.</p>
<p> Alex pulled him back down when he returned and ran his fingers over the silky hardness of Mulder's cock.</p>
<p> "Fuck," he hissed in response.</p>
<p> "That's what I have in mind." Krycek laughed as his hand was brushed aside.</p>
<p> "Damn tease,"  Mulder groused as he flipped up the top of the bottle of lotion.</p>
<p> "You didn't complain about it for the last hour." Krycek grinned, and snatched the bottle away from Mulder.  </p>
<p> "Give me your hand."</p>
<p> Mulder held out his long fingers.  Alex covered the tips with lotion.</p>
<p> "You need to open me.  Take your..."</p>
<p> Mulder held up his hand.</p>
<p> "I spent four years in England.  You think I don't know how to do this?"</p>
<p> "Sorry, Fox," Alex said scoffed.  "I forgot you spent long winter nights with all those inbred blue bloods at Oxford.  I bow to your expertise, international pervert that you..."  The words were cut off as Mulder's slick fingers teased at Alex's tight ass.</p>
<p> Soon Alex was writhing and moaning out a string of needy obscenities as Mulder showed him a few old school tricks.  Krycek grasped his own erection at the root and tried to strangle back the orgasm that threatened.</p>
<p> The sight of his struggle nearly caused Mulder to come. He quickly pulled on a condom and lubed himself.  He spread Alex's legs and pressed himself tentatively against the sensitized opening.  </p>
<p> Alex tossed his head, eyes closed, biting his lip.</p>
<p> "What the hell are you waiting for?" he hissed.  "I'm in bed with a fucking sadist!" </p>
<p> Mulder laughed at his frustration, acknowledging that, despite the fact that it was killing him, he waited deliberately to tease Alex just a moment longer.</p>
<p> He nudged a few times and watched Alex gasp at each contact.  Finally, Mulder slid into him, slow and smooth.</p>
<p> Krycek moaned and gasped the entire time.</p>
<p> When Mulder stilled for a moment, once he was in, Krycek pushed against him trying to establish a rhythm.</p>
<p> Mulder took it from him and delighted in the spasms that rippled around his cock. </p>
<p> He pushed up Krycek's legs and leaned against them as a prop.  This allowed him one free hand.  He took Alex's rigid, heated cock in his grip and felt the other man shudder.  His finger's traced the veins that stood out like cord.  He teased at the hood and it flared at his touch. But none of this lasted long.  He knew by Alex's flushed face, the tremble in his cock, that if he didn't take matters in hand it would happen without him.</p>
<p> Mulder pushed aside the other man's hand that still desperately gripped at the base of his cock.  He tunneled the rigid member and began to stroke.  He moved his own cock in the hot confines of Krycek's ass.  As passion built his pumping increased and his hand fell into the beat of his hips.</p>
<p> Alex struggled to postpone the orgasm, to stay on the ragged edge of pleasure for as long as he could.  Finally, the maddening slide across the spot inside him that melted his brain, burned down his nerves to meet up with the tease on his engorged cock.  The ensuing explosion of pleasure ripped at his mind.  He pulsed in a universe of sensation that peaked and peaked and peaked again till he thought he would die.</p>
<p> Mulder shuddered and cried out as Alex's body spasmed and trembled around him.  The pleasure was so intense it felt as if it were being torn from him.  His climax was long and hard and too good to be true.  He crumpled, panting over Alex's sweaty body after he slid out of him.</p>
<hr/>
<p> The walls were awash in dawn-tinted hues.  Mulder stretched carefully so as not to wake Krycek.  But when he turned to steal a look at the beautiful rogue agent who shared his bed, he saw that Alex was already awake.  The man lay silently staring at the ceiling, his forearm covering his brow.</p>
<p> "Morning," Mulder tested, now uncertain that the previous night had made any difference between them.</p>
<p> Krycek lowered his arm to the bed and turned to face Mulder.  He looked serious.  He looked like he had been awake a long time and had decided many things.</p>
<p> "You married to this place, Mulder?" he asked without ceremony.</p>
<p> "What?"</p>
<p> Krycek looked back at the ceiling.</p>
<p> "We've got a year, year and a half tops before the planet is colonized.  Then we have to go underground again. I intend to live as well as I can till that happens."  He turned to look at Mulder once more.  "You with me or against me?"  The question came out with a tense shrug of his shoulders.  His eyes darted about in uncertainty at what Mulder's answer might be. </p>
<p> "Is that a proposal?"</p>
<p> "Fuck you, Mulder," Alex bristled, and started to climb from the bed.</p>
<p> Mulder grabbed him and pulled him back into an embrace.</p>
<p> "Sorry."  He laughed against the other man's neck.  "I couldn't help it."</p>
<p> "Yeah, well try."  Alex struggled, not enough to break free but enough to show he was still angry.</p>
<p> "What do you mean am I married to this place?"</p>
<p> Alex didn't answer till Mulder feathered the fingers of one hand over his ribs.</p>
<p> "Don't do that!" He tried to squirm away from the touch.</p>
<p> "Then talk to me."</p>
<p> "The old man gave me some platinum cards."  Alex's tone carried a pouting note.  "And access to his Swiss bank accounts.  I told him I intended to be very self-indulgent. He said to do whatever I wanted because money would be worthless in the world we had waiting for us."</p>
<p> The playfulness Mulder had been feeling was suddenly erased by the cold reality of Krycek's words.</p>
<p> "What do you mean?"</p>
<p> "I want the best, clothes, food, entertainment, place to live.  I want all the things I've been denied the last few years, all the things that won't even exist when they start the invasion.  This is our only chance to have or say or do the things we've always wanted"</p>
<p> "Then what?"</p>
<p> "Then we go live with the rats."  He gave a harsh laugh at the memory of the first time he had spoken those words to Mulder.  "You and I are inoculated.  They can't use us to make more little monster babies so they'll hunt us down and kill us.  I don't intend to go quietly." </p>
<p> "But you intend to take me with you?"  The words came out as much more of a challenge than Mulder intended.</p>
<p> "You got other plans?" Alex asked with equal intensity.</p>
<p> Mulder traced the line of the other man's jaw with a fingertip.</p>
<p> "Not anymore."</p>
<p> Alex's body slumped slightly and he released a long sigh of relief at the concession.</p>
<p> "We need to find a house outside the city and..."  The words were cut off as Mulder's mouth covered his with a desperate kiss. He matched the kiss with his own needy searching lips and tongue.  The terror of the life that lay just ahead made both men press close trying to anchor themselves in the contact of the other's body. </p>
<p> It had come to this at last.  There would only be the two of them.  The old man was right.  They were two halves of the same person.  Each man was flawed and incomplete. But now, joined like this in the warmth and security of each other's arms, they formed one perfect person.<br/>
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<td> Disclaimer:  They belong to 1013 and Fox Broadcasting<br/> Rating:      NC-17 Language M/M Sex  <br/> Archive: RatB, Calculated Risks http://denofsin.slashcity.tv/~lefey<br/> Summary:     The night before Krycek is reinstated into the FBI he is bunks with Mulder.
<br/>I owe many thanks to Kest for her invaluable comments. This would have been a Krycek monologue if she hadn't taken the time and trouble to help me discover Mulder's voice. If there are no coincidences in life I am delighted that fate connected me with her. </td>
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